Since finding out that Jacob was in heart failure we were faced with making a decision to go the route of heart transplant or comfort care. No person should ever have to think about these things, Kevin and I were not ready to make this decision. We wanted to do all we could for our sweet boy but at what cost to him. We had several questions about infant heart transplants and were praying for clarity with this decision. When I was 36 weeks we needed to quickly make a decision because I was getting so close to my due date and we needed to have a plan for when he was born. Because we had no idea how to make this decision we were able to speak on the phone with the heart transplant team in Columbus about Jacob and about heart transplants in babies. The team of doctors and nurses were very familiar with Jacob's heart condition because they had been looking at his ultrasounds and consulting with our cardiologist for several weeks now. Everyone was very sweet and painfully honest, which I am thankful that doctors and nurses care about us enough to tell us the truth. They walked us down the path of infant heart transplants. The waiting, the medications, the machines. They also told us how concerned they were for Jacob. They gave us several reasons why they were concerned, boiling down to: Jacob may be to sick or unstable to receive a heart transplant. They did not believe he would be able to be stabilized once he was born or even make it long enough until a heart would become available. Our hearts were so sad but we believed we received the clarity we had been praying for after speaking with the heart transplant team. As hard and as painful as it was to hear the reality of Jacob's life, it was a prayer being answered. We will forever be thankful and love Jacob. We know that because the Holy Spirit is in us, that the Holy Spirit also hurts with us. We are thankful we have a God who knows and has experienced the pain we feel. We are thankful He has not nor will He leave us alone in this. As we walk through this utter darkness and sadness I can say with everything in me that there is joy, hope, and peace amongst this pain-only because of Christ.